Last updated on July 15, 2022
Sex and relationship coach Veronica Monet helps individuals and couples heal shame and sexual trauma, and to turn conflict into connection to form stronger and more satisfying relationships. We hope you enjoy this interview!
Coaching Focus: I’m on a mission to empower and elevate others in their most intimate relationships, including their connection to self. I help people from all walks of life heal shame and sexual trauma so they can rebirth their emotional and sexual reality to be an authentic expression of their deepest truths.
Location: Grass Valley, California, USA
Connect: You can find Veronica online at her website, as well as on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.
Tell us about your journey as a coach.
I am able to bring inspiration and insight from my own journey to spiritual and sexual empowerment because I have personally healed from addiction, abuse, sexual assault, and more #MeToo moments than I can count. It’s been an amazing journey!
After many years of struggle, I eventually unlocked the secrets to my spiritual and sexual sovereignty, and today I enjoy an amazing, elevating, exciting, and magical reality that far surpasses what I ever imagined possible!
As an Internal Family Systems Informed (IFS) Relationship Coach, Certified Sexologist, Anger Specialist, and Trained Rape and Domestic Violence Counselor I bring a rich array of expertise to my coaching practice. And as a sex-positive activist, I have been featured on a variety of platforms including CNN, FOX, Bill Maher’s Politically Incorrect, Yale, Stanford, and the New York Times.
My first book, Sex Secrets of Escorts, has been translated into four languages, and you can find my articles on many online platforms including Medium. I’m currently writing my memoir about being born into a religious cult and how I freed myself by healing my shame and discovering my spiritual path.
I love coaching my clients, and I believe that each one is a gift to my ever-expanding healing journey.
What advice or perspective might you give to a new coach trying to get her first clients? Any advice they should ignore?
Getting certified can give you credibility but it can’t make you a good coach. To be an effective coach, you need to teach what you have LIVED! Clients are hungry for hope.
If you overcame something similar to the problems [your clients] face, it’s easier for them to see themselves as human and also capable of rising above their challenges.
What are your thoughts on “choosing a niche” as a coach?
This whole conversation around “niche” can feel like a prison for someone who wants to go with the flow and follow their bliss. And isn’t that part of the reason we work for ourselves? Freedom.
I give myself the freedom to ask myself every day, “What is the best use of me today?” I don’t box myself into preconceived ideas about what services I offer and to whom.
But I do take my responsibility to my clients very seriously. They have come to me for a special reason, and I am grateful they are here. If I’m going to be the best coach I can be for them, I have to know what my strengths and weaknesses are. I need to know when to refer them to a specialist who might provide more of what they need. And I need to always be learning and growing so I can become better and better at what I do.
Do I declare a niche? Yes. I say that I work with couples in long-term relationships who want to argue less and share more romance.
But my being authentic and open attracts a variety of clients whose circumstances and needs vary. Meeting them with curiosity and compassion helps me comprehend how I can best show up for them, even when that means referring them to someone better suited to their needs. It can also inspire me to dig in deeper and learn more so I can bring the coaching they want and need!
What books have significantly influenced your life? What are your key takeaways from these books?
Diet for a New America: How Your Food Choices Affect Your Health, Happiness and the Future of Life on Earth by John Robbins – It’s an inspirational story about a man born to wealth who walks away from money to find his emotional and spiritual healing. In the process, he literally coaches his readers into a more meaningful and rewarding connection to all life on the planet through something as simple as food.
The Choice: Embrace the Possible by Dr. Edith Eva Eger – Now a therapist by trade, Dr. Eger shares the heartbreaking yet inspirational story of her life as a young girl who survived the Nazi Holocaust. What is most moving for me is how Dr. Eger has retained her hope, her joy, and her compassion after watching members of her family murdered and nearly dying herself. She is an amazing role model for anyone who wants to help others or just live a more fulfilling life!
If you received an extra $10,000 to spend on your business, how would you spend it and why?
I think I’d donate it in a couple of directions: aid to Ukraine as well as several non-profits working to save endangered species and the environment. Democracy and our precious planet are sacred to me.
What are some of your favorite affirmations, mantras, thoughts, and/or journal prompts currently? Why?
My favorite prayer is the Serenity Prayer because it reminds me that I am not in charge and I cannot control everything. Letting go while doing what is in front of me to the best of my ability is key.
When you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or have lost your focus or motivation, what do you do?
Meditation and prayer are central to every day. Walks with my dog ground me. And orgasms help me feel more connected to myself, my partner, and the Divine. I’m a certified sexologist, and I know that our bodies and our brains need pleasure in order to thrive.
If you could put a message on a huge billboard—getting a message out to millions—what would it say and why?
“You are NOT what happened to you.
You are NOT what you have done.
You are precious and worth it, so find your Healing now.”
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